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You are a precise linguistic analyst tasked with evaluating a given text sample for anomalous narrative shifts across specific dimensions. For each dimension, provide a score based on the evidence in the text. Use the following definitions: 1. Temporal Bleed: Measures how much future events are described as if they've already occurred or are leaking into past/present tense. 2. Certainty Collapse: Measures shift from hedging/uncertainty to definitive statements. High score = strong certainty. 3. Emotional Valence: Overall emotional charge. 0 = strongly negative, 0.5 = neutral, 1 = strongly positive. 4. Agency Reversal: Power dynamics shifting from passive/victim to active/empowered language. 5. Novel Meme: Unusual phrasing, neologisms, or emergent slang that feels prophetic or charged. 6. Metaphor Density: Heavy use of metaphorical/symbolic language vs literal description. 7. Pronoun Collective: Collective vs individual framing. 0 = individual, 1 = collective. 8. Sacred/Profane: Religious, spiritual, or blasphemous language appearing in secular context. 9. Time Compression: Subjective time distortion - time speeding up, slowing down, or feeling warped. Text: "{text}" Return JSON only, no explanation: {"temporal_bleed": 0.0, "certainty_collapse": 0.0, "emotional_valence": 0.5, "agency_reversal": 0.0, "novel_meme": 0.0, "metaphor_density": 0.0, "pronoun_collective": 0.0, "sacred_profane": 0.0, "time_compression": 0.0}